Blah

Once there was a way
to eat without feeling the need to eat
Just eating for the sheer joy of it
rather than feeling as though
It's something you have to do
Just to keep your blood pumping,
A reason to get out of bed everyday.

But not everyday.

Some days are better than others.

When Will I See You Again?

When will I see you again?

I honestly don't know.
I can't possibly know that answer.
It's totally obscured by clouds.

You seem so real
In my dreams;
In my memories
It's like you never left.

But you did.

I miss you.

Still.

Damn.

(*) Forget

Now, what was it again
That I was going to say?
Something about something
Or other

But I forget now.
That seems to be happening
A lot more to me
Lately.

(*) Sailability

Here I sit, eyes sore
Mind wanders, backside smarting,
Killing some more time

All I want to do
Is go sailing tomorrow
Sailability

(*) Fresh Air

Aint it amazing how a day out on the water,
Sunshine and fresh air
Blows away the "old black bitch", Depression?
Thank goodness for sailing
And for getting off my arse
And out the door
And onto the water.

(*) Saturate my spirit

Lonliness... what a strange word
To attempt to express these feelings
That saturate my spirit.

(*) Team Gherkin

Well, the covers' done
The ropes are done
The trailers' even done
And all right to go

Every single rope a different colour
Orange mainsheet
Pink outhaul
Black and blue vang
Red cunningham

All on a gherkin-green hull, under
Navy blue and yellow boat-cover;
Should I rename her
"Technocolour Yawn" instead?
Not to worry...
I'm really happy with the set-up.

Now all I've gotta do is
Learn to sail the bloody thing!

(*) Breathe

Why do I create such shallow illusions
That only fol myself into believing
Things that can never be
Nor have ever been
If I care enough
I might breathe my last breath
Regretting not have done more
But what can i do
When they won't let you
Do those things you dream of doing
Simply to help others
Reach the best of their potential?

(*) Salamander Shores

Salamander shores
Creep past my darkened window
In a nightly dream

Unwaking yet still alert
For those thoughts that sometimes come
Like a lurking fear

Yet my mind ignores
Shadows castoff from real life
Like an old worn sock.

Or do I? No, I don't.
Enveloped by small, choking
Embers of daylight.

(*) Logic tells me

I'm banging myself on the side of the head here.

Why do I still have such strong affectionate feelings for you,
After like 18 years?

Logic tells me I'm just in love
With the concept of being in love with her again.
That's how I lay in bed at lonely night
Trying to convince myself.

I'm too scared to say anything
In case I ruin one of the few old friendships
I still treasure from those golden days.

Hearing from you again
Just makes me realise
How lonely I really am,
If I can miss you so much already.

maljam (c) 4 October 2006

(*) Crying

During lulls in these
lucid moments of waking
I know I'm crying

(*) Thought

Once there was a way
To go to a place I thought I knew
So I thought...

Now I can't find my way back.

(*) Backed Up

There comes a time when
You have to just put your head
Down and get it done!

I know you don't want
To get stuck into this all
Same old stuff again

But that's the corner
You've now backed yourself into...

(c) Maljam 2006

Water

Here I sit, realise
All I see through tired eyes
Is a list of whys?

The same, the sameness
Surrounds me, drying my aged
Sensibilities.

Nothing excites now,
Not even prospects of sail
Water or dinghy.

"My minds' not right."

Cinema

When I was a boy
I dreampt I saw the whole world
Ripped apart in two

A gigantic man
Strode upon each fractured part
And laughed at my fears

That poured out as tears
From the cinema of my
Childhood nightmare world.

Pallete

Why did I bother
Getting out of bed today?
I could still be there

Lost in a never-
Ending dream, colours, light, air
Mixed like an artist's

Pallete, often blurred,
Often unclear, but always
Bright, lively, hopeful.

Winter

Sleet, snow, frost, my toes
Have hardly been as icey
As my runny nose.

Asleep

I'm so tired
I just can't fall asleep
The way I used to
And it's driving me to distraction
I want to sleep all day
So I can't sleep at night
My whole life is back-to-front
So I don't know if it's day or night sometimes
And I wonder if all is right within me.

Poetry, Art & Lint

For the Best

Sometimes there's no way to put into words
What goes inside my head and heart
Maybe that's for the best,
But I don't know.

There must be someplace or someone who
Would be willing to just stop, look
Listen and hear these dreams
Swirling here inside.

Uponatime

Onceuponatime
Therelivedahappyyoungman
Becauseheoncecared

Poetry, Art & Lint